The Rock of Gibraltar

As soon as I got out of the car, the ape was on my head. Just for a second, though, and then it jumped onto the out-cropping of rock next to me. In effect, it had just used my head as a spring board to get from the top of the taxi (how did it get on the top of our moving taxi?) to the rock next to me. It scared the hell out of me, but I guess that’s what you should expect when you go to see the Apes of Gibraltar.

The Rock of Gibraltar is one large mountain at the tip of the Iberian Peninsula (the same peninsula that houses Spain and Portugal). Although surrounded by Spain on one side and water on the other, the territory is actually a British colony, and subject to the laws, currency and politics of the Queen and Parliament.

Due to its strategic position at the mouth of the Mediterranean, the mountain and town of Gibraltar has been, historically, one of the most important – and fought over – military outposts in all of Europe. Standing at the southern side of the Rock, you can clearly see the African continent only 16 miles to the south. Not a single ship could pass through these waters without being clearly seen by those in Gibraltar. The only other way into the Mediterranean is in through the Persian Gulf, which – to get to – would require sailing around the entire continent of Africa.

But the Straits of Gibraltar have been without warfare since World War II, and now-a-days, the major industry in Gibraltar is – you guessed it – TOURISM! The colony welcomes over 30 million tourist a year, a large number considering the actual population of the colony is only 30,000.

Aside from English hospitality and novelties, Gibraltar’s most famous tourist attractions are the wild apes that live all over the mountain. The apes are not indigenous to the area, in fact they were introduced to the Iberian Peninsula by the Moors when they conquered the Rock in the 14th century. Since then, the apes have divided into five different “families” and, certainly, become quite opportunistic in the company of humans.

In the twenty minutes were stayed at the top amongst the apes, one hat was stolen, three of us were jumped on, and one of us was even lucky enough to be wee-ed on by a real Gibraltar Ape! The apes were everywhere, starring at us with their little beady eyes and inspecting all of the helpless visitors for anything that might resemble food. You are well warned before visiting to not carry any food in your pockets, unless you enjoy groups of chaotic apes chewing through your pants to find what you’re hiding.

The view from the top of the mountain – mainland Spain to the north and Africa to the south – is fantastic, but would have been a lot easier to enjoy were we not engaged in a stare-down with the apes that wanted to eat our pants.

Our driver dropped us off at the downtown area of Gibraltar and we all sat down for an overpriced plate of a “FULL English Breakfast.” A “FULL English Breakfast,” consisting of tea or coffee, 2 eggs, 2 hot-dog-like sausages, half a pig, and a gallon of baked beans, is a heart attach waiting to happen – but I suppose a full American breakfast from IHOP would not be much better, certainly.

Afterwards I walked back to the ship. That was the plan at least, but when the sidewalk turned into the runway of the Gibraltar Airport, I figured I’d gone the wrong way. It seems like poor city planning, though, to have mixed the only airport landing strip with a pedestrian zone – but who am I to judge the decisions of a parliamentary monarchy.