Seriously. Look at the ratio of guy musicians and girl musicians – there are so much less girls than guys. That’s my observation from going to two different music schools and working (not that consistently but still) around a few different cities in Canada and now in the US. Does that mean that we have to prove ourselves more or work harder to get something? I really don’t think so and I don’t know where you live, but maybe you’re just hanging out with the wrong crowd.

I never felt that I was being talked down to or made fun of because I was a girl. Not in Toronto, not in Montreal, not in LA. People I went to school with feel the same; whether you’re a guy or a girl has never mattered for anyone I know. I rented equipment at L&M in Toronto, booked a concert hall, promoted concerts, played in house bands, acted as MD for a summer, bought equipment from individuals and big macho music stores. Never have I felt that I was treated different for being a girl.

I’m 23, I play jazz, classical and pop/rock piano and keyboards – so I’m not far off from what you described yourself to be.

So I have to disagree with your post…respectfully of course. You’re not the only girl in an all boys club, you’re a musician amongst others and that’s it.

Being a man, I cannot speak firsthand about being subjected to gender-based discrimination (just like, being white, I will never know what it is to experience injustices based on my skin color), but I have no doubt that what you describe is not unique to your city. I agree with Andree-Ann that you should NOT take these experiences to mean that you have to prove anything. Just do what you do, and if you do it well, respect will follow. The people who want to disrespect others will always find an excuse – whether it be your gender, ethnicity, socio-economic background or whatever.

As a music director, I don’t care whether the musicians I play with are male or female, white or black, gay or straight, short or tall, vegans or orthodox Jews. I book musicians based on their playing ability and professional behavior, not on any external criteria. Last year I conducted a college production of the musical RENT. Everybody in the pit was a seasoned professional male except for the drummer, who was a student at the college in her freshman year. She totally held her own, and we all treated her as just another instrumentalist. I have since hired and recommended her for other professional opportunities, just like any other good musician.

Seems to me that musicians get into cliques pretty easily, too. The ‘boys club’ thing is probably the most common, and found in every industry (my wife and I have had this conversation many times).

But this only happens at a certain level, and it’s out of self preservation. We’ve all, at some point, heard somebody doing what we want to do but better than us, so we keep them out of our group. Then we learn music isn’t a competition and use that energy to better ourselves and eventually rise above the rest.

So hang in there, you’ve got the right attitude and it’ll pay off. Just be so good it’ll be impossible for anybody to deny it.

Hi Brittney, the reality is you’re doing fine so why let this get to you? You say you’re the only girl in your city who makes money playing regular solo gigs. That’s great!

Just be aware of your mindset – if you expect to be viewed as a pariah, you will be. If you think you are too young then other people will think the same. If you flag yourself up as the only girl in an all boys club then that’s how you’ll be treated – as something unusual and to be wary of.

Instead, celebrate your uniqueness as an artist. Find your unique following. When you meet people, meet them as an equal.

I hope that helps and I wish you the best in your career.

Eiza Michaels is the author of The Fan Formula – how to attract and keep a large loyal fan base so you can get your music out there in a big way