Eff It… Quitting Your Job to Pursue (Insert Passion Here)
A little over a year ago, I was on “the path.” You know, the path that the majority of the population follows because they value things like stability, monetary gain, schedule, order….many of the values that make life “easier” and manageable. I was a pretty straight arrow – honor roll in high school, good SAT scores, loads of extra curricular activities….all to get into the college of my choice. Turns out the college I ended up choosing didn’t really care about any of those things as long as you could pay. Welcome to the Real World, they said.
I went to a music school and landed a gig at Universal Music Group in NYC immediately after graduation. I quickly got caught up in the measurement of “success” – the more money you make, the faster you make it, the higher you climb on some invisible ladder….I thought, as a musician, that if I worked in the INDUSTRY, it would be enough. If i was connected in SOME WAY, I would be happy. If you’re a musician and you’re reading this article, chances are you know what I mean when I say I was fooling myself. A musical instrument a computer does not make (in the nine-to-five sense). Meetings are not like rehearsals. The hours might actually be BETTER, but it feels soooooooo much worse.
It took me 22 years, a $120,000 education, and a crappy job to wake me up and be honest with myself. It might take you more, it might take you less. What you do afterward, that’s what really counts. Here’s where things get tricky.
Remember when you were five, and all the adults would ask you what you wanted to be when you grew up? And you said something like “doctor” or “lawyer” or “actress” or “rock star”? And the response to all of those possibilities was basically the same – they would ooh and ahh over the possibility and encourage you to do whatever you wanted, because when you’re five, anything is possible. I can’t quite figure out when this turns into something else – when we lose our child-like imagination and enthusiasm. Probably around the same time we find out Santa Claus doesn’t come down our chimneys every Christmas.
As we get older, people scoff at such “ridiculous” ideas, and we become quickly discouraged, willing to settle for something “close” or “more attainable.” For a lot of people, that’s okay. They have families and they enjoy their co-workers and social lives, and all is well. For others, it’s different (not better, not worse). I cry jealous tears every time I go to a concert. I feel uneasy when I know I am not doing what I want to do. I live in a constant state of depression if I am not working towards the goal that has lived inside my heart since I was five years old. I don’t know why this is for sure, but I have a feeling that it has something to do with being aware, being present, aligning myself with the world around me, and believing in myself.
There are a lot of people out there who might read this and say “Yeah, I’d LOVE to quit my job that I hate and do what I love. But I have responsibilities. I need to make money. I can’t just go off pursuing some pipe dream at the expense of everyone around me.” I hear you. I get that. And there’s really nothing concrete that I can say to you to make you believe and trust that when you follow your heart and work your butt off, everything falls into place. I mean, that last sentence is pretty much it. I can tell you that this is the truest thing I have ever learned, but it won’t make one difference if you don’t believe it for yourself.
This world is tricky, and if you’re someone who needs physical, concrete information before you make a decision, well, maybe the office is the best place for you. And that’s completely supported, encouraged, and admired. I, however, felt like I was constantly at odds with myself. And I knew, deep down, that I had to make a change. I knew it like I knew my first name, and I can’t describe it any other way.
SO. How did I do it? The honest answer is that it doesn’t matter. How I did it and how you may do it will be completely different, for obvious reasons. There is no instruction manual when you are trying to pursue such complex goals that are tied directly to who you are.
“Great, thanks for all the help.”
I know. It’s annoying. I’ll humor you. I made the decision to quit my job six months before I actually did. I saved every penny I could. I got organized, read a lot, wrote a lot, tested the waters when I met people, introduced myself as a musician instead of “assistant to the SVP of blah blah blah” – I worked on BELIEVING in what I was about to do. I networked my butt off. I thought A LOT about what I wanted my life to look like. I started researching music-related things I could do to make money. I thought about setting up a studio to teach piano lessons, but decided against it, because I don’t WANT to be a teacher. And to be effective, that job would have had to take up as much time as my old one did.
This networking led me to where I am now.
Do I make a lot of money? Not yet.
Am I famous? Not yet.
Am I successful? Yes.
Am I surviving? Yes.
Am I happy? Happier than I have ever, ever been. In that way, I am the wealthiest person I know.
So that money thing. That’s probably peaked your interest. How the heck do I live in NYC without a “real job”? I’ll tell you what. Maybe I haven’t sold 1,000 CDs this year. Maybe I don’t get paid for half the gigs I play. Maybe I’m not famous or on PerezHilton.com. But I know people, and those people know me. They know what I am capable of. I network my butt off, and they hire me to do things for them. I work my hardest, and they tell their friends. I am not a jingle writer, but the majority of my income has been because of such projects, projects I didn’t even have to ASK for. So fine, writing a song for someone’s 70th birthday party isn’t what I’d like to do for the rest of my life. But it pays the bills, and it makes someone else really, really happy. AND it involves playing, writing, and performing music. That’s WAY more specific than involving “the industry” like my last job.
What more can you really ask for? It beats a job that doesn’t really make ANYONE happy.
I also have a great living situation. I have three roommates. I share a bedroom. I hardly ever take the subway. I walk everywhere. I get my hair cut twice a year. I make sacrifices I am willing to make. This doesn’t mean you have to share a bedroom with some dude named Frank that you met off Craigslist. You just have to get creative and weigh your options. If taking a part-time job at Guitar Center will help you towards living in your own room, so be it. There’s nothing wrong with that. You’re still pursuing your dream. I babysit sometimes a few days a week so that I can go buy a pair of Diesel jeans if I want to.
I’m young. I have all the years ahead of me to mess up and rebound again. That’s probably why making such a decision was relatively easy for me. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t do it in your thirties, forties, fifties. I can’t really explain to you in this article how I know that, but I KNOW it. If you are positive, if you work hard, and if you believe in yourself when no one else does, you have all the tools to get you through to the next day. And the day after that. And before you know it, all of your days are full of things you love to do.
There are a few rules that I live by every day.
1) Be present in everything you do.
2) Be grateful for everything you have.
3) Don’t ever let money be the sole deciding factor in what you do or don’t do.
You may have to live paycheck to paycheck, but the more comfortable you get with that idea, the easier it is. The money always comes. I don’t know how, but I know why. It’s because I need it to and I believe it will. And because I am smart, hard-working, and passionate.
Everything falls into place when you are aligned with your desires and beliefs and passions. You’ll see.
About the author
Thanks for the inspiration Lauren!!!!
10/23/2008
I CANNOT thank you enough for the inspiration in your article!!! It was exactly the confirmation I needed to hear. I’ve been feeling the same social, parental (and even personal) pressure to stick to a straight and narrow, socially acceptable, financially secure route, and I’ve been kicking myself for listening to that when it isn’t who I am and what I want for myself. Life’s to short to not give your passion(s) a full run, especially while your still young. Again, thanks so much.
11/18/2008
AMEN! Lauren, thank you so much for your thoughts and advice!
12/4/2008
Thanks Lauren! Beautifully written. I went out looking for some inspiration to leave my job and you gave me some. I love the idea of making a commitment to be present and be grateful, then trust from there!
4/24/2009
This is a fantastic post, and one that I lived as well. I was so beaten down by the corporate world I was in (radio) that I had to just walk away. I started to identify myself as a musician, and lo-and-behold, now I AM a musician! I write more about this on my blog, if you care to learn more.
6/3/2009
I am currently on “the path” to quitting my job and doing what I love. Every time I hear a story of someone actually doing it, I feel more and more confident that I can do it, too.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. You can read about my path to living the creative life I’m meant to live on my blog.
6/3/2009
That’s awesome that you got out there. Hope things are going well for you.
8/13/2009
I just read your article and I truly thank you for publishing (and confirming) all throughts I have been going through. I am in the process of pursing my dream. Like you, I went to college, got my degree…and then nothing else, there is no more climate here in the corporate world. I then started on the pathway to pursue my bakery business. My website goes live in October and I am apart of a network function this weekend. My family is very supportive of me. The last thing I can’t wait to say: I am resigning to pursue my business full time. Thank you for this opportunity, blah, blah, blah (LoL).
9/14/2009
I understand you fully, it’s like what is life if you cant do what you want, and if you really want it you shouldn’t mind what you have to do to get it. if that made any sense. thank you for the wise words love
J-ONES
10/27/2009
I’m not a musician.. but being in a creative field, graphic design, definitely strikes a chord. Great post!
10/27/2009
Hi Lauren, I love the honesty, vulnerability, and strength of your decision and the commitment towards it. It makes your reader seek a more passionate life than money can buy. I love how you talk about money/physical aspect directing your life when it shouldn’t be. I cannot wait to quit my job and pursue my passion as a graphic designer/photographer. Thank you for taking the time to write this. It is very much appreciated.
3/22/2010
Thanks Lauren for sharing Lauren. Im from Mexico City. I found your article looking for some advice or inspiration because, right now, I feel kind of trapped in my current job. I’m basically in the same situation you were six months before you quit job. I’ll take your word for it and start working towards that goal. Thanks for the inspiration.
Take care and best of luck!
3/22/2010
Thanks for the inspiration. :)
I am someone who knows what I really want to do and I also know that I am wasting my time with the “secure” day job I am having.
Just this year I decided to stop wondering if I can follow my dream or to worry if I do not make it all the way through. I am going to have to work hard to eventually become a graphic designer. Just thinking about it already makes me feel happy.
I hope you get to where you want to be while following your dream and passion!
6/18/2010
Hi Lauren,
What a beautiful, well-articulated post.
I feel exactly the same way. I’ll never return to a blue-gray office if I can avoid it. The benefits of working from home for the past 5 years has far outweighed any benefits I gained from the “stability” of the corporate world.
Hegemony and monotony kill creativity in my books and the corporate world sure serves these two terrible twins up by the heap.
Let’s be honest: The Muse has us by the short and curlies and she’s not one to let go. ;-)
Luckily the Web makes life a whole different freak-show for creative people. We can now do so much more for so much less. Only our beliefs, attitudes and lack of persistence can hold us back now. The rest are excuses.
I applaud your courage. We must encourage artists and creative people to follow the same Renegade Route.
Thank you for this post. I’m sure it connects on a deep level with many artists as it does with me.
Keep shining it up!
All the best,
Marius
8/2/2010
Good for you Lauren. I really hope it works out for you!
I went back to school for jazz guitar performance at the age of 36 after having a master’s degree in engineering and really hating the office job. Everyone else was 17 or 18 years old. But for those that want a somewhat higher standard of living while they do music I would suggest trying to find a way to make the most money per hour so that you can minimize your time working. This takes some creative approaches, belief in yourself to get these higher rates (ie. being able to ask for them), and potentially getting the required education.
In my case I decided to focus on a niche area in the IT world so that I can get higher hourly rates. So if I work for 3 months I can make $40K which can last me over a year. Another thing is to try and not have debt so I paid off my house and car with the money from these contracts. Many people will raise their lifestyle as they make more money instead of saving it. Imagine if you made $10/hr and worked 40 hours a week, then you figured out how to get $40/hour and worked 10 hours per week. Many people won’t believe they can make that hourly rate and so they have self-limiting beliefs.
I sell guitar lesson products online, it doesn’t make a ton of money but I enjoy sharing my knowledge and experience with people. So I rely on the savings I have from the IT contracts for the most part. I’m not really into travelling for gigs or band dynamics so I prefer to go it solo and be mostly internet based. I’m even focusing on remote IT contracts so I can work at home.
Now I practice, play guitar and write songs on my own for many months full time without working and I just turned 41. It can feel weird to be one of the only people not working all the time and stressed out. You start to wonder if you’re missing something.
8/2/2010
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